Day 182-184: my nerves will be fried until tomorrow

So tomorrow is the big day – Andy will finally be home!  The girls still do not know that he will be here tomorrow.  I have concocted a story of a friend who is coming to visit, thus the reason for going to the airport tomorrow (I even conned Anya into her cleaning her room for our “guest”).  I cannot wait to see the surprise on their faces when they see their dad.  This has been so hard to keep a secret from them.  I have wanted to just tell them and jump up and down giggling with joy.  Plus, so many people that we interact with here know he will be home tomorrow, so I have had to run interference with all of them to keep the secret.  It’s been tough!  Anyways, we have the house prepared, and I am anxiously counting down the minutes to tomorrow afternoon.

My stomach has been in knots all day.  I still get nervous every time Andy comes home from a long period of time.  When I went down to see him graduate from basic training 10 years ago, I vomited and barely ate the entire 18 hour drive down to Texas.  I could not calm my nerves and the anticipation of seeing him after 6 weeks.  As much as it pains me to have these nerves, and I have barely been able to eat today, I love the fact that I still feel this way when I am getting ready to see him.  After 9 years of marriage and 11 years together, it is a good sign that I still have butterflies in my stomach when I think of him.  🙂  I love the smile that spreads on my face when my eyes meet his.  I love how he looks different but still the same.  I love feeling his arms around me and knowing that not only is this man mine but that he is safe and home, no matter where that home may be at the time.  I hate the time apart but the welcoming home is always amazing.

I’m going to try and get some sleep – fat chance since I am too excited – and when I write next, my husband will be with me.  We have survived yet another deployment and come out in one piece.  I told someone the other day quite bluntly that deployments just suck, because there is really no other way to put it.  However, we are a strong, happy, and stable family who is going to be whole again in less than 24 hours.  With anticipation like that, how will I ever sleep tonight?


One thought on “Day 182-184: my nerves will be fried until tomorrow

  1. Hey Rachel! I just wanted to let you know that I have read every single post since you have started your blog and I look forward to reading it each time you post. I have felt emotional while reading some of them, but this one just filled me with so much happiness and excitement for you and your girls!! I can not ever imagine doing what you have done, and quite awesomely it seems, for all of this time. You are a very special and strong woman. I am very happy and excited for your family for the big day tomorrow!!! Can’t wait for the next post!! 🙂

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