I left my job, and it was for the best

I left my job this week. I left a government job, with benefits, retirement, insurance, and security. Even as I type this, it sounds a little strange. Why would I choose to leave a position like this? Am I crazy? What will I do for money and all the above mentioned perks? This was a…

I can’t see another celebrity suicide

...because it is too tragic and sad. ...because their lives were ended much too soon. ...because it only reminds me of so many others who commit this same act every year, whether I have known them personally or not. ...because it makes me feel helpless in the face of mental illness. ...because if someone who…

Every day is judgment day

I was talking to my therapist about my anxiety (which was going pretty well until this week - more about that in another post). I was questioning the logic of anxiety, a ridiculous train of thought considering anxiety has no logic. When talking about triggers, I explained that social events are frequently a trigger; it…

Depression, Anxiety, and Why We Need To Keep Talking About It All

Truth time: I have anxiety and depression. The anxiety has been a constant for awhile, but the depression is a new phase in my personal experience with mental illness. I have debated on how or if I wanted to say anything, to anyone, but I'm learning from therapy and experience that keeping it all inside…

The day I became the “old spouse”

I was sitting at a spouse dinner the other night, getting to know a brand new wife to our area and to our squadron. She had a ton of questions, all of which I felt I could accurately answer. She asked about deployments, TDYs, amenities and services around the base, etc...and I could answer her.…

How to shame spiral in 30 seconds or less (this is not a success story)

It always begins in the same way - and by that, I mean that I am doing something perfectly normal and routine, and the guilt hits me out of nowhere. The shame, the anxiety, the horror, the reliving and reimagining over and over again of a situation or event...and it comes out of nowhere. Today's…